advice on meeting out ladies

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Guppy, Jan 5, 2015.

  1. Guppy

    Guppy Member

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    Hey!

    I need advice/feedback on picking up gay ladies or just become friends with more out ladies.

    As I'm slowly (turtle speed) transitioning to my home-bodied phase from party phase; I want to be in a serious relationship. Recently, I've realized that I have a hard time meeting or becoming friends with "out" ladies. All my friends are straight and every lady I've been with was straight. However, it's difficult to be in a relationship with someone who is afraid of holding hands in public or even saying the word gay. Well I've only been in one so called real "relationship," but had several really short ones.

    The reasons why I haven't been in a serious relationship in the past are:
    1.) engineering major
    2.) travel a lot
    3.) social life (friendly)

    At lesbian functions I get 3 guys number and 1 of them is a gay guy. Love gay men get along with them easy. Girls on the other hand not so easy. Lesbians avoid me like the flu. I can get along what seems like the rest of the world.... Why is it so hard? What should I do?
     
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    Last edited: Jan 5, 2015
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Online dating.

    OK, I'm being glib, but I'm being serious. On a serious note, it can be harder to meet women versus meeting men as 1) men usually take the initiative and 2) the stakes are higher when you are meeting women. It's easy to make small talk with some random guy, it is much harder to go up and talk to a cute girl you like.

    One way to meet "out" women is to go to gay social type events. Parties, bars, meet ups, LGBTQ groups, you name it. Even if you don't pick someone up there, you will make friends. Then those friends might introduce you to the cute girls that they know (I met my wife through a mutual friend). Another way is to go to activities that gay women tend to do - like hiking group, certain church groups, playing sports, going to concerts, etc... Sure, not everyone on a women's soccer team will be gay, but they ain't all straight, either.

    The nice thing is, if you are meeting people in these kinds of social settings, it is not as intimidating and therefore easier to break the ice than at say a bar.

    And the glib / but serious answer of 'online dating.' I mean, people do the online dating thing for a reason.

    I do agree that if you want to have a serious relationship, with someone who will publicly acknowledge you, that dating out ladies is the way to go.

    Good luck and keep us posted.
     
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  3. Guppy

    Guppy Member

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    Thank you for responding. Yeah I've done all those things except online dating which I'll give a try. Do you have any suggestions on websites?

    Let me clarify a little. I'm not shy when it comes to talking to girls and I'll even offer to buy her a drink. I'm not scared of rejection. Its just that I get the feeling that out ladies are intimitaded by me. I'm very femme but not lipstick. A straight women would not be afraid to have a conversation with me because they don't assume or have a clue that I'm gay. I'm out but I don't announce it to the world.
     
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  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Idk, if that's you in the profile pic, you pinged my gaydar pretty hard.
     
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  5. Guppy

    Guppy Member

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    Yup its me but I usually put on a dress and where heels when I go out.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Body language. Yer body language screams gay.
     
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  7. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    Lmao I can tell if people are gay if I'm going through a drive through and they're taking my order.... Some peeps just have impeccable ping Dar. Body language is the biggest give away though, if you watch a femme long enough they'll walk with a swagger or sit like some dude who's trying to chat you up...

    But about the op... I made a ton of friends on plenty of fish, one eventually introduced me to my fiancee. Just try to make as many friends as possible and be honest about your intentions.
     
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  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    Yep what @Just Me said make lots of new friends, don't just be out for romantic meetings. Expand the social circle and you'll be amazed at the results.
     
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  9. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    And I meant yer body language screams gay as a compliment, btw.
     
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  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

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    When isn't it a compliment? :D
     
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  11. gr8dane

    gr8dane Member

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    @Bluenote...You crack me up! I have zero gaydar. The running joke with my gay female friends is that a woman has to be literally sitting on my face before I get a clue. I am not dating at the moment. too busy with athletic pursuits and work and need a well deserved break from the chaos...lol, so I don't much care of I am not approached.
     
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  12. cheval_amant

    cheval_amant Member

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    I just love this quote. I've felt the same way, conciously super confident and gay even in a dress. Confidence is key in many aspects of life from work, friendships to relationships. Work it and have fun :) If it helps Beyonce songs always bring out my swagger. !!

    Which by the way a femme with confidence makes my knees weak. Goodness gracious.
     
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  13. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Ok, I guess I gotta practice that stance. I never ping anyone's gaydar. I have to meet other lesbians at a community event or online. Otherwise, I'd never get a date. Even then it's hard because they assume I'm straight. And, I've never worn heels in my life. You'd think that my practical shoes would send out signals.
     
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  14. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I got nuthin'. <sigh> First of all..I tend to have phases...I can be extremely tomboyish (like I once wore a tuxedo to an old work xmas party on a dare..complete with letting a co-worker take over my hair product to give me a faux-hawk)....but, for example, today because of my job, I was in heels and make up (and my hair is longer now).

    I had this discussion recently with the woman who manages my building and she doesn't think I "look gay." I told her that there have been times when I've screamed it...other times, like lately, evidently, not so much. And the confidence thing doesn't work for me....I am confident in 99.99% of things..but when it comes to talking to women, I go insanely shy.

    So, yeah, I have absolutely no advice whatsoever....
     
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  15. Lon

    Lon Member

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    Ditto...shy is my middle name
     
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  16. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    It's nice to know I'm not alone :)
     
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