Advice on getting over your girlfriend.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Deez, Sep 30, 2013.

  1. Deez

    Deez Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hello,
    I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 and a half years. We have been living together for the past year and a half. The relationship is ending and it's probably never going to pick back up. I need advice. I don't know how to get over her. The worst part is were in a lease that ends at the end of january 2014. It's extremely hard to end your feelings when you are constantly around the person..and if not constantly just having her around is hard. I don't want to stop talking to her..but at the same time i feel terrible because she's so sure she can't be with me. It's hard being the one dumped and even harder when your still in love with them. Any advice on what to do please post... thank you.
     
    #1
  2. AussieGirl2

    AussieGirl2 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2013
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm so sorry to hear that, I know how hard this must be for you.
    Is there any chance you can sublet it? Have you looked into how much it would cost to break the lease?
    I really think the emotional stress of living with someone who no longer wants to be with you could be worth that money or possibly even advertising fr someone else to move in.
    It just doesn't sound fair on you. You deserve a breather and time to move forward.
    Nows the time you have to be selfish and look after yourself.
     
    #2
  3. AussieGirl2

    AussieGirl2 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2013
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Also you say you don't want to stop talking to her, the only way you can really move on and get over your ex is to take a break and have time to get her out of your system. Which would probably mean not talking to her for a while
    If she cares about you at all still and wishes to be in you're life in some shape or form she should respect that and give you that space
    Then eventually after enough time you should be able to talk again perhaps you may find after a while that you no longer need her in your life or you could decide that you are good as friends
    But I promise from experience the more they are in your life the harder it will be for you too be forward and get on with yours
    Trust me, I've seen friends get absolutely broken for years and years when still being close to their ex who no longer wanted to be with them. When if they had given t some space and time that healing process would have been so much less (& less painful)
     
    #3
  4. Deez

    Deez Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you. I will look into those options. I needed to read that and hopefully things will get easier from here on out.
     
    #4
  5. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2013
    Messages:
    638
    Likes Received:
    596
    +1

    Oof. That's rough; I'm so sorry that things are falling apart.

    Advice:
    Break up already. In the nicest possible way. Your relationship is nearing its end, your girlfriend wants it to be over. Let it be, pack a bag, and tell her that you're so sorry it didn't work out, that you want to be friends in the long term, and that you're going to crash with your friend. And leave. Let the break be clean, respectful, as amicable as possible. This is also how you leave the door open for friendship in the future.

    Establish and respect boundaries. I 100% agree with the poster above - you need to find a sublettor, or break your lease, or ask a friend if you can crash for your own mental health until you can find a new place. Of course you don't want to stop talking to her; you are effectively still in a relationship, albeit a really difficult and stressful one. You see each other every day, share space, and be constantly reminded of what being together is like. That makes it impossible for your hurt to heal and for you to move on.

    Get busy. Breaking up is the worst, and getting over it takes a long time because you have to rewire your brain and reteach your body to get by without your ex. You are going to spend a lot of time thinking about her, and processing with your friends - but you don't have to let the breakup be your whole life. Spend time with friends, take up a new hobby, join a community, learn something new - fill up your time and lean on your support networks to provide new experiences and help you rewire faster. Your life can be rich and fulfilling without her, but when you're moving on from a long-term relationship sometimes you have to force yourself to see that.

    It'll be hard, but it'll be okay in the end. And hopefully, you can learn something and emerge stronger and ready to build stronger relationships in the future.
     
    #5
  6. Deez

    Deez Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2013
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for the post. Everything you said Im sure is true. Im realizing it now. Taking everything a day at a time. It just hurts like hell you know? But thank you for being very honest and I appreciate it.
     
    #6

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice