A sticky situation - 2in1

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Supposedly interesting, Apr 23, 2016.

  1. Supposedly interesting

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    Sorry for the long post.
    Okay, here's what you need to know prior to the actual story. One of my ex-girlfriends, let call her S, and I broke up a year ago, however we talk occasionally because we play soccer together and goes to the same college.

    I had a one night stand with a girl, let's call her V, from my soccer team a couple of weeks ago at a party for the soccer team. I had noticed her looking at me sporadically throughout the night, but I just figured she thought I was annoying or something similar.

    Anyway, we were both really drunk - I was so drunk that I literally can't remember 2 hours of my life.
    V and I have never talked before (she's new on the team), and we didn't talk that night, at least not from what I remember. I have been told we have been sitting closely, talking and dancing at the bar, however I can't remember.
    We had this one night stand, and it was crazy! I have never EVER experienced anything that intense in my life. She seemed so confident and dominant (in a good way) as thought she knew exactly what she wanted.
    Anyway we ended up at her house, where we fell asleep.
    Needless to say I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover ever and a bittersweet taste in my mouth, because I have never had a one night stand before. V had woken up earlier than me and the first thing I saw, when I opened my eyes was her looking at me saying good morning.
    We small talked for a while and she told me that she apparently goes to the same college as me, that she isn't into girls and she have never considered being with a girl. After talking for an hour or so I did my walk-of-shame home.

    A couple of days later I ran into another ex of mine, let's call her M, who apparently knows V. I had a small conversation with M, where I mentioned V, and without me mentioning V and I's one night stand, M said: "Yeah, she seems kind of gay". And V does have "the vibe".

    At our next soccer practice I decided to talk to V, because I wanted to make sure that there wasn't any awkwardness between us. We talked and I mentioned that M thought that she seemed "kinda" gay. V laughed and asked if I thought she seemed gay as well. I told that, that aside from the obvious (me and her hooking up) she did have a vibe around her to which she replied: "Well, I mostly like men." I looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she corrected her statement to: "I only like men."
    V told me she had to go, but before she left she started asking me about me and S's relationship. She asked:
    "When did you guys break up?", "Did you leave her?" and "Does she still wants you?"

    Why is V so interested in my relationship with S?
    Should I tell S that I hooked up with V considering we play on the same soccer team?
    Is V a lesbian in disguise who's afraid to admit it?
     
    #1
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    First off...no matter what you think, say, feel or know...you have to take what V says at face value. She could be a lesbian but it's not your job to bring her out of the closet -- this is something she needs to accept on her own, and if she's not ready to accept it, then there's nothing you can do about it. "I only like men" is what she said despite her very obvious actions -- but again, a one night stand is just that and nothing more. You got drunk, you fooled around, she took the initiative in a drunken situation and that's all it was, period.

    Importantly, V owes you nothing. Gay, straight, bisexual inclinations aside -- she's made herself clear, and you need to respect that. Unless and until V makes it clear that she's open to anything with you...then you need to assume nothing further will happen.

    Conversely, you owe her nothing with regard to S. And, why do you owe S any explanation as to what you did with V? Leave it alone otherwise you're bound for more drama from V, from S or from both. That you play on the same soccer team doesn't make your private business anyone else's.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 23, 2016

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