A Closer Look at Biphobia

Discussion in 'Bisexuality' started by Mip, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. Mip

    Mip Member

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    One thing I hear people say a lot (about dating bi women) is that they feel that they would be MORE upset if their bi-partner were to cheat on them with a man, than with a woman. What an odd statement... Why would that be? It's still a betrayal either way... But thinking about it, it's not really about biphobia. It is about heterophobia.

    When a minority group, like lesbians, feels shunned, there is a need to pull together. There is solidarity amongst those who have gone through the same thing, and have become outcasts in the same way. We band together as a team. Suddenly, there is a subtle current of US vs. THEM. Sure, lesbians have straight friends. They don't consider straight people 'evil'. And yet, this attitude of us vs. them persists. It makes sense in some ways. After all, it is homophobic straight (and sometimes not straight) people who prevent lesbians from obtaining certain rights, and ostracizes queer people... So it's easy to see where this aggression, this push back, comes from. But in the end, we all suffer.

    Biphobia is about the fear of the OTHER SIDE. The OTHER TEAM. I mean, look at that terminology. Team. You're either on the Gay team, or the straight team. You can't pick both, so how DARE you have even an inkling of straightness in you.

    Just my take on it.
     
    #1
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  2. lauren4

    lauren4 New Member

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    I agree with you 100%
     
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  3. crazy-one

    crazy-one Member

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    I disagree. First of all I don't have problem with dating bi-women (or biphobia) and I consider myself bisexual to some point. But the truth is I would be more upset if woman cheats me with man and it is not about biphobia or heterophobia. It is about "male to male" competition that would suddenly appear in my head, actually my male side would appear. I learned to deal with it so it is not a big problem for me now as it used to be.
     
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  4. Kaiden

    Kaiden Well-Known Member

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    If someone will ever cheat on me, I don't care if it was with a man or a woman, the only thing that matters is if that person has eyes more beautiful than mine. Or if that person is more attractive, then what the heck, I will just date the person I was cheated with. cause dis is life
     
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  5. ChychD

    ChychD Member

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    I'm bisexual. Sleeping with either a man or woman is cheating if I'm in a relationship. All sex is sex!

    However, most people define their relationships.....some may allow their partners to cheat with the opposite sex; while others allow their partners to sleep with anybody outside the country or state as long as you don't get attached.

    When you don't define your relationship, know yourself and your partner and state terms of the relationship then there will always be grey areas which causes hurt and hate.

    So stop criticizing and start demanding what you want in a relationship rather than pointing blame and generalizing.
     
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  6. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    Cheating is cheating no matter the sexuality. One should focus on the fact that their partner cheated on them and not so much on the fact that it might have been a male.

    I used to be proud to identify as bisexual. Not only have I faced lack of understanding from straights but biphobia from homosexuals as well. Luckily, not every homosexual is like that-like even my ex girlfriend loves bisexuals :) Now I don't feel like this label suits me as my desires have more or less changed, which is why I'd like to just be open with the world about who I happen to date and not worry about the public reaction (although it may not be the wisest thing to do as my country's really narrow-minded). Feelings could change and as people we secretly want more, if not everything even though we may be committed to someone. Once we actually act on our inner desires, that'd mean we've never really felt satisfyed with the person we've dated. That is why I sit them down and have "the talk" with them out of respect towards them as a person, and towards us as a future "former couple" and tell them how things are BEFORE I decide to pursue the object of my desire.
     
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  7. lu.ahh

    lu.ahh Member

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    I am going to keep it short. Cheating is cheating and it doesn't matter who it is. I really hate labels, what are we? Mason jars. It's all about personality and what your attractive to at the end of the day. May it be a male or female, we all love the same way
     
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  8. BeckyFair

    BeckyFair New Member

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    I agree with the last few posts. Cheating is cheating. However, you also have to trust your partner. As a lesbian, if you were to think along the lines of, "I won't date a bi sexual woman because I can't bear the thought of her cheating on me with a man" then I think that you have to stop take a look at yourself, and seriously consider whether you have some trust issues that you need to resolve. That's just my thoughts.
     
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  9. lu.ahh

    lu.ahh Member

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    No, you are right! I don't have anything against Bisexual woman. It all comes down to trust. I don't like labels, I have been with male and female. It all comes down to character and personality for me. But I do lean more towards females for preference.
     
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