3rd date rule

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by goody, Jul 9, 2016.

  1. goody

    goody New Member

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    here's my situation:
    A month ago I got a message from online dating and she seemed cool so we started talking. She was going away the following week so we couldn't meet up right away but continued to talk while she was away and throughout the month. We've gone on 2 dates, tonight being our third and I don't know how to go in for the kiss or if I should try. My only fear is third date and ending up in the friend zone. We've talked about everything from family to what we're looking for long term and while we definitely have our differences we have a lot in common and I enjoy hanging out with her.

    Any advice on how to read the situation or if I should just go for it would be appreciated.
     
    #1
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Just bang her.

    Seriously, by the third date you are not being a creeper to try and kiss her.

    I don't know where you are getting all these 'rules' from. Who made them up? Have they actually been validated?

    I would kiss a girl on the first date (back in my single days). Hell, I am not opposed to banging on the first date. Forget some stupid rules and just read the chemistry of the moment.
     
    #2
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  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Agree with Bluenote. Is it more difficult because it is an online thing so it is like a blind date sorta? Like, you two were brought together by 1's and 0's and stirred? I think I am catching this after your 3rd date, but kiss her if you are moved to do so and not trying to "reserve" a spot or throw an anchor that pulls you to the next port of the relationship. If she doesn't kiss back or even rebuffs you, then it is an answer. There is no harm in declaring what you want and see if it is reciprocated. That is the good thing about a setup from a dating site.
     
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  4. goody

    goody New Member

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    Thanks guys! We talked about it last night, she's not a fan of PDA which I completely understand and she's not an overly affectionate person to begin with (I hug everyone). I told her I genuinely liked her and she told me she felt the same. We'll see what happens on the next date.
    I'm not a person who has sex on the first date, I find that I would wind up getting into trouble if I did that!
     
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  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Stop thinking so much...just let the situation play out. If the timing and mood are right, kiss her. Read her body language -- don't force it. And stop setting rules...never say never as to what will or won't happen.
     
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  6. rainydaze

    rainydaze Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, not a big fan of the "rules" thing either!
    When you like someone and she is clearly on a date with you, have fun! Flirt & touch & kiss &...whatever! If it feels right, do it! She will let you know in subtle or not-so-subtle ways if she is not receptive. Don't overthink it, you will miss the moment if you are too distracted by thinking instead of feeling & acting.
    If the chemistry isn't there, you will know it soon enough. Be brave and bold, spontaneous but sensitive to her responses. She keeps saying yes to dates with you, so she likes you enough to keep giving you her time and attention! Have A Good Time!

    That was a lot of words to say what Bluenote said so succinctly:

    Just Bang her!

    Hahahahahaha! It still cracks me up every time you respond that way, Bluenote!:p
     
    #6
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  7. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Well, your date has surely come and gone by now. So, what did you do? To tell you the truth, if I feel chemistry with a woman I expect a kiss on the first date. No kiss and I figure she's just not that into me. And, besides if she's a bad kisser I wouldn't want to keep dating her. There's nothing worse than a bad kisser. You don't want to keep dating someone only to find out that she's terrible at kissing. And believe me, there are some really bad kissers out there. You just can't teach a terrible kisser how to kiss, so don't think it'll get better. Just go for it as soon as you can.
     
    #7
  8. goody

    goody New Member

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    date was great, have continued seeing each other weekly. I'm trying really hard not to rush into things because every time I've done that I've ended up getting burned in the long run. However, things are not moving as fast as I would like either, so I'm not sure how to proceed. We're not exclusive and I went out on a date last Friday with another girl and it wasn't good. I'm sure she'd be a great girl for someone else, but that night I kept thinking about let's call her Jill. I felt guilty even though we both said that we weren't exclusive and I get that she's not ready to take that step, but I'm at the point where I can almost see myself getting hurt in the long run because I feel like I care way more about her than she does about me. I'm super affectionate and it's in my nature to make people happy. She had a shitty day last week and I'm the girl that would send flowers to work but I also don't want to come on so strong that she turns the other way.

    I'm basically Liz Lemon for any 30 rock fans and I just want to jump to 12 years into a relationship where sweatpants and goofing on tv shows is acceptable


    All advice appreciated
     
    #8

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