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Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Panda629, Nov 30, 2014.
It seems she is not that straight. What is her story, why is she doing that? Does she wants to be with you? Anyway if she acts this way you have to stop her ruining your life. Maybe one serious talk with her can help.
You need to talk to her. What were her/your expectations when you slept with her? Because if you weren't clear about the end result (i.e. are you dating, have intentions for a relationship, or was the hookup for fun?) then you're going to have to do some major damage control pronto.
First -- she's straight. If you and she had no intentions of anything except sex, then you need to remind her of that. You also need to remind her that she is, in fact, straight. If she protests the straight thing and has designs on you, then you need to figure out how to let this girl down because it seems she wants more from you than you're willing to give.
Be nice, but stand your ground.
Please change thread title to say: I slept with a stalker.
1) Find a safehouse for your bunny.
2) Put a passcode on your phone, Facebook, etc... Set your computer to always log you out and so on.
3) If you are living with 'straight' girl, move out. If not, put distance between you two. Don't let her come over, avoid her one on one, don't text or call, etc.,.
4) Don't sleep with your other coworker. Bad idea, much drama will ensue. If you just want hook ups, date somewhere outside of work - clubs, online dating, etc...
5) This girl isn't acting like a BFF. She is acting controlling, immature and jealous. If a bf / gf did the same thing - jealousy, emotional blackmail, threats, trying to control your friendships, monitored your phone - we'd be calling it abuse.
Emotional abuse, but still abuse and still not healthy - for either of you.
This isn't your fault. Unfortunately, it is still a situation you need to deal with. You can't control other people's behavior, you can only control your own. There isn't some magic thing that you can say or do, that will make her see the light and act like a normal person.
All you can do is protect yourself. Put distance between you and herself. Don't feed circumstances where she could actually blackmail you - say narcing that you slept with a coworker.
Tell her your boundaries with her - stay outta my phone, stay outta my love life, etc...
Hopefully starving the fire of oxygen, will cool everything down.
It's easy to say 'but she's my BFF / gf / good friend,' etc... Sometimes people aren't who we think they are and it takes some time for the bad side to appear.
If she's 'not so straight,' that still doesn't excuse her actions. GF material would profess their love for you, not hack your phone and threaten to make your life suck.
Bluenote is right -- she's acting like a psycho stalker. BFFs don't treat each other the way she's treating you -- reading your phone? Uh, no.
You need to have a direct talk with her -- but not necessarily about bringing up the sex. Have one about boundaries..that you appreciate that she's trying to look out for you, but that you don't need her help. I'd put some distance there as well. Actions speak louder than words and even though you guys hooked up and pretend to be BFFs and she claims straight -- she's acting like there's a lot more there.
Get your inner Shane out and talk to her clearly. She lost her right to avoid the subject when she intervened in your life. Hook up or not, no one should treat you this way. I don't think someone who blackmails you is your BFF, unless the B stands for something else.
ar you sure shes straight?? but beside all of that, I'm actually more concern with the whole she threatening you... like gawd dayum man D: something is not right dude.. she sounds like trouble.. be safe