The Diary of an Asshole

Discussion in 'Non-Fiction' started by golden., Dec 14, 2014.

  1. golden.

    golden. Member

    Dec 10, 2014
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    Part 1.
    Most of us understand that there's a time and a place for certain behavior, but I tend to not give a flying feather. As such this will be a pretty candid description of my sexcapades and everything in between. A former lady love once told me, "my soul was a full moon that engaged the sea of her emotions so strongly, and swayed it so wildly that it was torture." I told this bitch she can take her metaphors, euphemisms, or whatever her useless liberal arts degree told her would be clever, and stick em where the sun don't shine... But that I'd be over to dig em out later ;)

    I'll cover more of our love dance later but the point is I'm kind of wondering if I'm headed down the right path. Am I throwing off the balance of my aura by smearing the glass hearts of girls all over the world with smog as the incinerator lodged in my chest spews out "I love you?" Just kidding, I only want to screw you. Is it so much to ask of these trifling Claudette's to hit it and quit it? Sweety I'd do the same for you if you just asked... by the way, there's the door.

    I mean the media swarms us with affirmations that casual sex is where it's at, but I must be a lollipop, cause after a few licks they just can't detach. You will never get to my center. I'll save you the trouble and tell you now- I have no soul. But Im so Fonzie, and I mean soo foxy you'd think my word was gospel to these poor lost souls. I've actually become a guru in a way. Maybe it's a good thing, a rockstar needs groupies amirite?

    Did she leave yet? I need a lighter.

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