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Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by notsure123, Sep 24, 2017.

  1. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    I'm older and a single mom. I met a woman at work. She was doing contract work and we only worked together for about two days. We had maybe one conversation, we really didn't get to know each other in those two days. When she moved on we exchanged numbers. I thought we wouldn't talk again and I was surprised to see a text a day later asking me and my son to go to the movies with her and her son.

    We had a blast. The next time I asked her to come over with her son. She said she could pop in for just a minute. She stayed for four hours. She laughs at all of my jokes. We don't know each other but talk for hours.

    There was a moment when I said something and I touched her leg. I was just quickly touching her leg and pulling my hand away. She held my hand, but I was already pulling my hand away so we didn't hold hands long.

    I asked her if she would get married again and she said "I would never want to be with a man again." I didn't ask if that left out everyone or if she would be with a woman.

    So I am all excited, but then she says "I can't believe you would marry again. Men are the worst." And I say, "I didn't say it would be a man." Talk about an awkward moment. She laughed it off and made an uncomfortable face. She clearly didn't respond well to that. It was so awkward.

    What do you all think? What is the next move on my part? Does she like me?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I think she does, maybe she was just surprised you said what you said. I think if I liked you and it was the first time I am clicking with a woman and hearing that you would marry one, I would have swallowed my face right there! Ask her for coffee alone instead of a playdate for the kids maybe you will get a better sense of it.
     
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  3. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    You might be right. I took it as a really bad sign almost as if she was not open to it at all or maybe even not open to a lesbian friend (which I know isn't true since she has several gay male friends), but maybe it wasn't. When she held my hand, I quickly moved my hand away. To her that might have looked like I wasn't showing interest, but that wasn't it at all.
    I'll ask her out for coffee or maybe lunch during the week and see how she responds. We're supposed to go out with the kids again this week (she asked not me). So I don't want it to be overkill.
     
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  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you surprised her -- maybe she hasn't acknowledged certain things about herself...so when you put it out there, it is quite possible that she just didn't know how to react. Thinking things....but then having the opportunity to act upon them...are very different.
     
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  5. Zoe3773

    Zoe3773 New Member

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    Any new updates?
     
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  6. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    Not much to tell. I asked her out and she said she doesn't leave her son with a babysitter so going out without the kids is not going to happen. I asked her to lunch during the day, but I haven't been able to make it. We texted back and forth for an hour last night talking about nothing just being goofy and laughing. We're going to dinner Thursday night and talked about making it a weekly thing.

    I don't know. When I think about my relationships with other women, I really do think there is something special between us. I just met her and we spend so much time together, but is she just looking for a best friend?
     
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  7. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    The really really naughty part of me wanted to ask all the queer girls out there to raise their hands if they had ever bedded a best friend. And as my naughtiness continues, I wanted to say therefore, all may not be lost even if all she wanted was friendship. But, my rl friends who know me think I am pure as driven snow (plus really bad advice and expectations) so I will try to maintain that, therefore please disregard this paragraph.

    Hmm, I see her not chomping at the bit to go out with you alone as a sign that she is more into having a good friend with adult conversations while the kids play. But again, not all is lost. I would be laid back on this one and see what develops. There is something special between the two of you and you are clicking so well. You have asked her, so now, see how these weekly sessions go, 'coz, she just might turn around and ask you on the by and by. I would go on dates with other people in the meantime because it is just good to get yourself out there. Kudos, notsure123, kudos for asking her out, you sound like a really confident person and that is quite charming!
     
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    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
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  8. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    Thanks for the encouraging words, but I don't think I am as confident as I pretend to be. I didn't ask her out on a date, or use the word date, just asked if she wanted to go to a show at night without the kids. If I was truly confident I would say, "Hey! I have feelings for you. What do you think about that?"
     
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  9. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha, I think that would have been something. But you were measured and that is confidence, you didn't just go about blurting out stuff with high stakes emotional components to someone you had just met.

    For example, you said you would marry a woman, that is confidence. Just asking her to a cuppa is confidence. I know straight women who are more skittish about befriending and asking another woman to something social.

    You don't need to pretend at all, you've got it going on.
     
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  10. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    New developments!

    She came over tonight with her son. At one point our kids had my phone (I now have 300 selfies of their nose hairs on my phone.). The kids made bitmojis and texted me and her. So the texts look they are from me to her, but it was her son that sent them from my phone. Two say love you and one says you're beautiful. An hour after she leaves she replies with a winky face and the smiley face with heart eyes.

    Then I tell her that we should have a date (yes, I used the d word) to see our friend play. I said the concert was early so we should take the kids and she says, "maybe sally can babysit so we can go without the kids."

    Obviously, she's in love and the next step is marriage......right? ;-)
     
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  11. Canuck8881

    Canuck8881 Well-Known Member

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    Keep us posted!!
     
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  12. notsure123

    notsure123 Member

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    Nothing good to write. :( We went from texting daily for several hours at night to a lot less (although we've probably sent about 50 texts to each other this week and had two phone conversations).

    We were supposed to go see our friend play tomorrow night. We'd talked about getting a babysitter and for the first time it would be just us. I asked her about it and she said, "Let me see or maybe we can all go out Friday night." We've talked but haven't made plans. I don't think it is going to happen.

    She seemed really interested before. Whenever there is alcohol involved she seems pretty interested, but during this last sober week she's pulled away.

    Maybe I am crazy, but what I've taken from her is that she is interested in more than a friendship, but it's new to her and not something she is comfortable with. After a couple glasses of wine, she seems more comfortable with it. But when she hasn't had a glass of liquid courage she pulls away.
     
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  13. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I loved your post about the nose hairs selfies last week, it really made me laugh. Sounds like you guys had fun. Well, I think your observations are correct on the alcohol and I know I would not want that kind of courage myself. I enjoy alcohol in moderation, but people sometimes think it buys sleep and courage. It doesn't really, because the effects are so temporary. When you find sleep, it wakes you up soon after and not feeling so great. When you find courage, it leaves you regretful of what such courage brought.

    My advice, let her come to you from now on and only with sober stuff. Have some agreement to help each other to babysit the kids and go out on dates with other people.
     
    #13
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2017

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