I Don't know what to think.. Help

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Ginney, Oct 12, 2017.

  1. Ginney

    Ginney Well-Known Member

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    :)
     
    #1
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2017
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure why this is an issue. Seriously. I've been with men in the past and didn't exactly hate the experience. However, I only seem to connect with women. What does that make me? Gay? Bi? I really don't have the time to think about it.....and I really don't care. I'm married to a woman...happily so, and my previous relationships have never been an issue.

    The point is -- we all have a past. We can't change that. I'd be more concerned with the fact that your girl has shown a propensity to cheat -- to me that says more about character than who someone has slept with in the past. Either you love her or you don't; you want to be with her, or you don't. What you consider her or what she considers herself shouldn't matter.
     
    #2
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  3. Ginney

    Ginney Well-Known Member

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    Well thanks for your reply. I do appreciate it. I will have to really think about this..
     
    #3
  4. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I'm a little confused as to what your question is.

    Are you are saying that you aren't comfortable dating someone who is bi, and you are trying to figure out if she is bi?
    Are you saying that you aren't comfortable dating someone who once cheated?

    Let's take this step by step.
    1) Is she bi or not? Honestly, I have no idea. She is the only one who can really answer that. That being said, different people can have the same identity, but get there a different way. I have had friends who are 100% lesbian, but they didn't hate hookups with men. It was just a physical thing for them, no different than a vibrator feeling good. No emotional connection at all.

    I also have friends who are 100% lesbian, but tried dating men several times before they were completely sure of their sexuality. There is a lot of social / family pressure to be straight. It is not uncommon for someone to date guys in their teens / early 20s, then date women, then give men one last try in their late 20s or early 30s. They aren't bi, they are lesbians who were pushed into the closet by societal pressure.

    2) You don't want to date a woman who is bi. If that is your preference, then you are under no obligation to date a bi woman. I am not anti-bi personally. But attractions aren't logical or fair. You are under no obligation to be attracted to femmes, or blondes, or bi women, or whatever.

    3) She had done nasty stuff to exes. Honestly, that says a lot to me about her as a person. I wouldn't date someone like that. Do you really want to date someone who seems to be in all this drama.

    4) She once cheated on someone with her baby daddy. That is a bad situation. I think cheating is a big deal and wouldn't want to be with a cheater. Her baby daddy will be part of her life, at least for the next 11 years. If seeing him, hearing about him, knowing she talks to him will just make you insecure and jealous this relationship is not for you.

    5) What do I think? I wouldn't date this woman. Personally, I think you deserve better and don't have to settle for this shitshow. YMMV.
     
    #4
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  5. Ginney

    Ginney Well-Known Member

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    thank you and I do love her
     
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  6. Ginney

    Ginney Well-Known Member

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    To Whom it may concern PLEASE delete this thread I have no clue how
     
    #6
  7. Jane Doe

    Jane Doe Well-Known Member

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    Hi G. Hope everything works out for you and this lady. :)
     
    #7
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