help?

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by annieebananiee3, May 8, 2016.

  1. annieebananiee3

    annieebananiee3 New Member

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    Okay, so I've googled and read all the articles on this website and a couple of others, but like, how do I actually meet other gay people? Like I know a few people, but none that I'm actually friends with and they're just coworkers that assume I'm straight. I've been online to every site to make friends or more or whatever. The shitty part is that I can't go to gay bars or anything because I won't be 21 for another year and a half. I don't really have any gay friends and no one to talk to about this kind of stuff and it really sucks. I live like 5 minutes from one of the gayest cities I can think of (Philadelphia) but the gayborhood has like nothing for the inbetweeners (which is what I call the people stuck between the ages of 18 and 21). Honestly, I just wanna make some friends, whether it be on here or somewhere else. I have no friends to hang out with and it's starting to get really sad that even my mom is worried I don't have friends.
     
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  2. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    You know what? Bars suck anyway. You'll make much better friends hanging out around people who share an interest/passion/hobby with you, so I'd start by thinking about what that could be.

    Here's what I found for you:
    - The Attic. Mostly a youth center, but has at least one "18&Up" youth course (which tells me that the center is probably a decent place to meet out-of-high-school youth like you).
    - "Queer Social Club" meetup. Some of their events are happy hours, but lots and lots seem to be game nights, bowling, ice-skating - for gay men and lesbians. A little poking and I found a few other queer meetups too.
    - Philly Gay Calendar. It's everything queer in Philly! I think this would actually be a great place to find a volunteer gig, and meet some other gay people through a shared interest. It's a long, long list, but there may be some good stuff for you.

    Other things that I know are full of queermos (and present in Philly):
    - Social folk dance (contra dancing or similar)
    - Causal sports leagues
    - Feminist bookclubs/ women's studies community college courses/ etc

    Not sure what you're up to, job- or hobby-wise, but the way to make friends, gay ones included, is just to meet hella people. Some of them you will click with, some of them you will want to hang out with, and some of them you will never want to see again - and there's no magic formula beyond "take yourself out of your comfort zone and around people you don't know" to grow your social circle. And building relationships takes time, so be patient and don't give up when a few casual online conversations or shared activities don't lead to instant bff status.

    Good luck!
     
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  3. annieebananiee3

    annieebananiee3 New Member

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    thank you so much!! i'll definitely look into those! you're so great!
     
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  4. Gyldenragg

    Gyldenragg Well-Known Member

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    I've got to agree with that. Bars are overrated if the intention is to go out and make new friends. And I mean friends, not like...fun drinking buddies and the like (which is fine too but not really what you have in mind I think).

    So the best way to meet new people in your area would definitely be to join in on some activities that you already like or are interested in. Any sport or hobby or something new you'd like to try out. Maybe you want to volunteer. Maybe you want to go to a convention or gathering of some kind. If you want to meet international people or learn a new language, find an expat community or meetup. Want to learn coding? I'm sure there are coding sessions with lots of people at nearby cafés or maybe they do weekend courses etc. Or if you really enjoy writing/reading, join a club, go to a poetry slam, start writing online and get talking to people part of the community.

    What kind of interests or hobbies do you have? :)
     
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  5. Susanah

    Susanah Member

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    I definitely agree with the above - joining a club/group/organisation based on interests is the way to go. And bars are definitely overrated.
     
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