Hi. So I am a woman in my 30's. I have been together with the same man for 10 years and we have a child together. We are the best of friends, but I have never really had much of a sexual attraction to him. When we first got together I still was in denial of my attraction to women/girls despite the fact that I was in love with a girl when I was a teenager. She kind of reminded me of Shane in L-Word . I even told my mom about it back then and she told me she did not want to hear one more word about it. Well, I am sad to say I chickened out in the end and told her I had just been confused. I tried to forget about my feelings and doubts, and for a while I succeeded, although things had a tendency to reach the surface when I had been drinking and my defences were down. I even told a gay accociate of mine that I liked women. Well, 14 years later I find myself in a very serious relationship and the mother of the most adorable child with special needs. I feel there is something vital missing in my relationship and I feel like I have reached a point were I no longer am able to carry on in the same track. He knows about it, despite everything we are still together. Mostly I keep thinking about my kid that need the stability and does not cope well with changes. I'm not sure if I'm bi or lesbian, but at least I have come to therms with the fact that I am not straight. I have told most of my close friends,and it felt good to be open with them. My family, now that's a different story. I really fear they will hate me, after all , my mom did not take it well the first time. ( despite the fact that her cousin is gay and married to her partner). I don't feel like I can go on like this anymore, living in a heterosexual relationship when I wish to be with a woman, but on the other hand, I don't wont to complicate my childs life. Nor do I wish to hurt my boyfriend.