Coming out- Muslim

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by golden., Dec 14, 2014.

  1. golden.

    golden. Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2014
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    4
    #1
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2014
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,373
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Not Muslim. Did, however, have a violent and abusive childhood. Get out and get help and support. Reach out to a Domestic Violence Center if you haven't done so already.

    I think the safety and getting out stuff supersedes the gay stuff. But just IMO.

    Sorry you're going through all this.
     
    #2
    rainydaze likes this.
  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,373
    Likes Received:
    1,465
    Yes.

    Keep in mind that a good Domestic Violence Center is there to help you. You could start first by just anonymously calling a hotline. They shouldn't push you into doing something that you aren't ready to do. They can get you in touch with someone to talk to who understands what you are going through. But they won't pressure you to do things - like move out, confront the abuser, etc... They'll just give you tools to understand what is happening and to understand what your options are.

    Even if it's been awhile since the abuser lashed out, unless they have made deep and lasting change (and I'm talking years of therapy, not just saying 'oh, sorry, it won't happen again) - there is a risk that they will lash out again. In your (since edited) OPost, you talked about the - potential - that this could happen again. Even if it doesn't, walking around with the fear that it might, impacts you (and your family).

    This creates a dysfunctional dynamic in the family, that touches every member. Everyone winds up walking on eggshells, trying not to "trigger" more violence. Or it becomes the elephant in the room, that everyone in the family knows about, but no one will talk about. I'm guessing that at times you've skipped social activities, kept friends at arms length, not done things you really wanted to do - just because of your difficult family situation.

    Of course it is hard to grow, thrive and live in this kind of environment. Slowly, it hurts your social life, work life, school, self confidence, etc...

    I noticed that you edited your OPost (and your second post). This is normal. It is normal to feel divided and unsure about this issue. If you've carried "the family secret" for so long, it can feel weird to spill it. But, of course, you are anonymous here; we have no idea who you are.
     
    #3
    rainydaze likes this.
  4. Rez23

    Rez23 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    5
    Thank you for posting this
     
    #4
    rainydaze likes this.

Share This Page