Cant meet anyone? I've tried OkCupid, PoF, Brenda, Qruiser, you name i

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Femme, Jun 23, 2015.

  1. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    I've tried all the dating site and cannot meet good woman. I am a cute femme lady so it is hard for a dominant woman to approach me Becsuse they assume I am straight because I am feminine. I can't approach a dominant woman (stdlud, butch or aggressive woman) because I get all shy and reserved but I have a great personality, very talkative nd friendly and love to speak with someone of interest.

    I am a huge sweetheart and can be a bit soft-spoken initially meeting someone, yet ambitious and a go-getter. Although soft-spoken initially until I am comfortable, I absolutely love talking and have a friendly vibe (lol) and love to make people smile and laugh. I am very humble and modest and a total sweetheart. I am very giving and caring. I go out of my way a lot for others. It is never too late to call me or you are never too far of a drive away. I am very dependable and very reliable. I love to smile for no reason. I am very genuine and sincere. I am very kindhearted. I absolutely love to laugh and smile at just about anything and everything. I can be so silly and a cornball sometimes. I have a very calm demeanor about myself and love to make people feel special. I am very easy going and a very comfortable person to be around.


    I want to be in a relationship someday with someone who is interested in me. I don't mean someone who thinks I'm silly, funny, or cute. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about me, read every word I write, and hear every note of my favorite song. Someone who wants to watch every scene of my favorite movie, find every scar on my body and want to know where each one came from. Someone who wants to know my favorite brand of toothpaste, lol. I believe there is a difference between attraction and interest.

    Someone who wants to learn every aspect of who I am.

    And vice versa. I want them to hold on to me and I hold on to them.

    That's why I want to be a power couple. The power couple that balance each other out. What areas your weak in, I want to be the strength for and vice versa. Whatever they lack, I have and vice versa. If we have minor setbacks, we will make major comebacks together. A power couple. Backbone of each other support system. I want to grow and build with someone something so beautiful.

    How do I get the courage to speak with someone even online? How do I be less introverted? I want a friend. I am a little of a loner and just want one good friend. How do I fine that friend? I want to share my beautiful personality with someone special.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Sounds like you have a wonderful voice that you need to put out there. I would scrub these forums and lend that voice to posts on things that you are interested in, what music you are listening to, talk about books you read and maybe even post a short story or lend an advice. Someone out there will listen and go hey, I like you! And then <magic happens> and you guys will go a ridin' off to the sunset hand in hand. :)
     
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  3. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    I hope it'll be just that easy. Yes. I love to talk. Its just the initial meeting that is a bit intimidating. I am friendly and always smiling and laughing at somethingand I have a very pleasant personality to be around so people say heyy but its hard to establish an actual friendship past just hey and bye. You know.
     
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  4. KelseyK1992

    KelseyK1992 Member

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    I feel you. I've come to realize that online dating sucks. Just wait for the right girl, I don't know what else to say since I'm in the same boat.....
     
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  5. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    Thanks so much. I will try to remain positive, my diamond in the rough is out there somewhere.
     
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  6. SDBonVivant

    SDBonVivant Member

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    I completely agree with you, the process of online dating can be a bit daunting, disappointing and monotonous. I would definitely start by commenting on several forums on here like what was already suggested. If you live in a big city like me and would rather meet people outside of the bar scene, there are several meetup groups in which you can meet new people who share similar interests as you. Check out meetup.com. Good luck out there!
     
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  7. Femme

    Femme New Member

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    I've tried meetup too. Nothing.
     
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  8. Aly33

    Aly33 New Member

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    I am right there with you. It seems like after exchanging the first few get to know you e-mails the conversation just dies. I think others are right and the answer is to get involved in something you love, and hopefully someone there will spark some interest in you. At least that's my hope. :)
     
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    Last edited: Dec 9, 2015
  9. aussie_gabby

    aussie_gabby Well-Known Member

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    Well where are you from? Big city? Small town? Country that's not so ok with being gay?
     
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  10. NorwegianBarbie

    NorwegianBarbie New Member

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    You pretty much sound perfect. You will make some lucky girl very happy one day! I find it hard meeting women too, especially since I look so femme. I wish I knew the answer for you, but you sound awesome, so it should be only a matter of time for you. Best of luck! Hang in there!!!
     
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  11. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    You sound perfect-I honestly said am looking for what you mentioned. That's another story though.

    I really think that it has to start from you-self improvement in terms of limiting your introvertism a bit. Yes, sometimes it won't work but it's a good idea to start hitting on someone. :) Try looking for some bars near your area or just places in general-you find your type, make sure she's at least bi and go for it.

    It takes some time to find her-unfortunately you must kiss a few frogs till you meet the right one for you. Don't lose hope though. I am sure you'll find her. Keep trying :) If you can't do it alone, try seeing a therapist to help you open up a bit :) As for online speaking-there's tons of women you can try to talk to.
    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
     
    #11
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  12. wonderlust

    wonderlust Well-Known Member

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    I've tried dating sites and the experience hasn't been all too swell. So these days, I just focus on conversations with people both online and offline-- since for me, I'd prefer getting to know someone this way and if there's no spark, I end up with more friends in the community. No harm, no foul--- it helps me be more at ease since I too can be introverted at times. Actually, I got no game.lol
     
    #12
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  13. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    All my most successful relationships have grown out of real-life acquaintance/friendship and shared interests - including my marriage! Which started when I was not looking for any kind of relationship at all. I think if you enter into new and more social situations, looking to make awesome queer friends, you're upping your chances of hitting it off with someone... and even if you don't, you have more awesome queer friends. This is where sports teams, book clubs, knitting circles, volunteering, lesbian choirs, or whatever sounds fun to you, is a really great starting place.

    This strategy does not work if you expect it to yield a Serious Relationship within X months, though. It's a long game for happiness and positive relationships in your life, friendship and romantic alike.
     
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  14. Nicole Bauer

    Nicole Bauer New Member

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    I am in the exact same boat! Its almost impossible for me to meet someone from off of these sites. I'm weird in that I have a lot of muscle/ and am very athletic, no makeup when working out, but am feminine when away from the gym. So, its hard to say if girls don't like that mix. Even when I log on, I get extremely bombarded by male emails even though its set to looking for a female. I don't meet many gay people in real life. Most women I meet are usually very straight (including at the gym), and go off about how great men are. So, sometimes I don't even share the fact I like girls. So, its difficult to take the natural real life route- that can start as friends. I guess I just gotta be patient that I'll run into someone, somewhere, and something clicks!
     
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  15. goody

    goody New Member

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    If I saw all of this in your profile on a dating app I would 100% message you. You've been exceptionally open and honest for what you're looking for and what you're willing to give. If you were from Boston I'd totally hang out!
     
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  16. Dinotae

    Dinotae Member

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    I think ALOT of us are in the same boat. I've tried plenty of dating apps as well and nothing seem to work x____x Wonder if there's something wrong with my profile lol Either way, like everyone in here have said, patience and the right one will come (although my patience is running thin!) Good luck!
     
    #16
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  17. saffronevelyn

    saffronevelyn New Member

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    I feel you...same here.
     
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  18. T.S.

    T.S. Member

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    Mmm, my advice for attracting 'males' as 'female' would be to think you are a flower, or the egg.

    'Guys' seem to find me (online) when dating, and even if we haven't spoken about it, when I feel comfortable enough to discuss that aspect, sure enough, they are a 'guy'. So in a way it is all very natural.

    You could read dating articles on how to date guys, huge step for me by the way, and you may find some things make more sense. From what I understand from 'guys' I've talked to they don't need to explicitly read it, but they can pick up vibes.

    What I do is in the description clearly state what I'm looking for in the sense of characteristics, as well as my own person. Some 'guys' have had bad experiences, so they need to feel and be safe, as do some 'women'. Also make sure you are on the same page on what kind of relationship, just sex or love, as some will lie to just have sex. Also 'guys' date differently then 'women', no judgement. Honesty can go a long way, especially online, where some people lie, about stuff like age.

    It's not about looks, in the sense of type of person, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    I get where you're coming from, I'm more on the dominant side but because a 'girl' I'm shy, naturally I 'expect' a 'guy' to make the first move, which can be difficult when I want to date a 'woman' who is also shy. Read an article recently, and imho this is true, that submissive people wil be iniative and flirty in their contact, so you will have to more on that front possibly. You could read, learn about (indirect) flirting. Tell a 'guy' he looks really handsome in a picture for example, or something more indirect like you love that kind of dog, and ask him for advice on something, 'he' will get the clue and if 'he' is interested 'he' will get in touch. The old 'drop a handkerchief', to strike a conversation with 'him'. It may take a while to learn, and read 'guys', but you can get better at it with practice.

    A balanced couple, sounds like you're on the right track for you if that fits, recognizable, and (online) dating is just difficult and sucks at times, that is recognizable, one can also have wonderful, romantic, and/ or meaningful experiences, that I shall treasure forever (channeling Audrey, sorry LOL)
     
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    Last edited: Apr 14, 2017
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