“Straight” roommate struggle HELP!!!!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Silly_lilone87, Apr 7, 2018.

  1. Silly_lilone87

    Silly_lilone87 New Member

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    So I have a “straight girl” roommate but all of her actions say otherwise. I have heard of the tease that straight girls like and the chase they get a thrill from. But this is just getting to close to temptation for me. At times I feel as if she wants me to react and just pin her to the wall or something. If either of us are away for a vacay or something, there’s a lot of physical touching on her end when we are in one another’s presence again... I never really react and that’s probably what she likes idk. We actually never hung out before the move so it’s been like getting to know one another on a personal level (being roommates and forming an actual friendship through it) ....I just don’t want to do anything I regret or react and look stupid....
     
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  2. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Until she tells you otherwise, she is straight.

    There are a lot of ways she could handle her interest/feelings. She could say, "Hey, I feel like we've hit it off as more than friends, can we go on a date?" She could say, "I feel like I need to be honest - I am wondering what it's like to hook up with a girl. Are you game?" She could say, "I'm not actually straight." She could do a million other things to let you know that she is interested and looking for you to take action.

    If she doesn't do those things, then the information you have is: she's straight, and she touches you a lot. The kindest explanation is that she is flirting but doesn't know how to talk about her feelings. There is a whole range of less kind explanations, which include she likes attention, she's messing with you, she's made a bet with her friend that she can get her lesbian roommate to hit on her... whatever it is, you don't really want part of that mess.

    Try this: "Hey, could you cool it with the touching? I prefer a bigger personal bubble, thanks!" Don't mention the flirting, the teasing, whatever. Literally just name that you need her to stop touching you. If she doesn't, then she is pushing your boundaries and being rude, and you get to move your body/leave the room to enforce your boundary.

    If you don't want her to stop, then you should ask if she is flirting. "The touching is pretty flirty! Is there something you're trying to tell me?"

    Talking is the best way to figure out if you like each other and want to pin/get pinned to walls. A+ method for not regretting and/or looking stupid.
     
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